Here is a letter from a Father Sean Sheehy, an Irish priest who's homily against abortion went worldwide after he was criticisded for it in Irish media.God works in strange ways.

God has given us emotions so that we can handle all our feelings that are generated by our thoughts. Every time we interpret something – a look, a word, a scene, a touch, a stance, or a principle – feelings, positive or negative, follow from our interpretation. Strong feelings seek expression in action. Action expresses and defines our character – at least in that moment. Feelings never just happen. They’re always preceded by thoughts. Our thoughts lead us to feel good, sad, bad, joyful, happy, anxious, angry, fearful, guilty, responsible, numb, frustrated, etc. Our feelings identify how we want to relate to the world at any given situation. It’s silly to deny feelings. Instead we need to manage them lest they control us and lead us to behavior we regret. So how do we manage our feelings? We use our emotions.
  Emotions and feelings are often confused. People who’re upset or crying are often labeled as “emotional.” But actually they are simply expressing their feelings.  What matters is whether they are being controlled by their feelings or their feelings are being directed by their emotions. Emotions are gifts from God enabling us to decide the most effective way to express how we feel. Four basic emotions are anger, fear, guilt, and love. Anger and fear direct us to protect ourselves from threats to our safety. Guilt directs us to take responsibility for our sins. Love directs us to connect with others. We can use any emotion to direct any feeling, positive or negative. For example, I can have an angry feeling toward someone and express it through the emotion of anger, fear, guilt, or love. I can have an angry feeling toward someone and use my emotion of guilt to express it by taking personal responsibility for it and apologizing for it. I can also express it through the emotion of anger by constructively confronting the person toward whom I have the angry feeling. The relationship between feelings and emotions can be a whole study in itself. When we use emotions to direct our feelings we act rationally. When we let our feelings direct us we lose control and act irrationally. God wants us to be in control of ourselves so we can do His will. This week God speaks to us about anger and mercy.
  As an emotion anger is a gift from God. But In the Book of Sirach (27:30-28:9), God tells us that, “Wrath and anger are hateful things …” Jesus’ Church lists anger as one of the seven deadly sins? How can anger be a gift and a sin at the same time? Wasn’t Jesus angry? “And He looked around at them with anger, grieved at the hardness of their heart …” (Mk 3:5). What are we to make of this?
    God isn’t talking about the emotion of anger, which is a gift from Him. The emotion of anger is part of being human. It generates the energy we need to attack what threatens our security. But it’s how we attack that makes the difference. When we choose our emotion of anger to attack an enemy we’ll be in control of our action and God will be guiding us through His gift. When our angry feeling directs our attack we’ll not be in control and so will act destructively. Anger becomes a hateful thing when we attack destructively. Murder, revenge, self-harm, or wishing evil upon others are the result of angry feelings that are expressed in hateful actions towards others or toward oneself. It’s normal to feel anger when somebody wrongs us and threatens our safety. If we choose our emotion of anger to express our feelings God will lead us to act constructively. Angry feelings move us toward vengeance that blind us to God’s will. We must remember that, “The vengeful will suffer the Lord’s vengeance, for He remembers their sins in detail.”
  Forgiveness restores our emotions to their rightful role in managing our feelings when we are wronged. God’s Word teaches us to, “Forgive your neighbor’s injustice; then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven.” Too often we react to injustice with angry feelings and seek revenge. Vengeful behavior causes destruction, which can’t be healed except by repentance and reconciliation. Sirach asks a reasonable question: “How can you expect healing from the Lord if you nourish anger against another?” Unless we’re hypocritical, we can’t. We have to change our vengeful feelings by replacing our vengeful thoughts with thoughts of repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation. To live peacefully we must forgive and let live. That doesn’t mean we don’t confront the wrongdoer; we do, but through our God-given emotions that direct our feelings in a positive manner. Sirach asks another reasonable question: “How can a person refuse to be merciful toward another and ask for mercy himself or herself?” Again, we can’t, if we’re honest. God will give us only what we are willing to give others.
  Jesus tells us that in God’s mind forgiveness is reciprocal. To be forgiven we must be willing to forgive.  Jesus made it part of the prayer He gave us: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” (Mt 6:12). He enshrined it in one of the Beatitudes (Mt 5:7) and instituted it as a special Sacrament of His Church (Jn 20:23). The condition for receiving God’s forgiveness is our willingness to forgive others. That calls for us to change our feelings by changing our thinking through God’s grace. We do that by replacing our thoughts with God’s thoughts. St. Peter asked Jesus if it was enough to forgive his brother who sinned against him seven times. Jєωs thought that four times was generous. Jesus shocked him by saying, “You must forgive your brother more than seventy-seven times seven times.” In other words, we must forgive every time someone offends us. It’s important to realize that forgiving those who hurt us must not depend on their repentance. Forgiveness is for our own freedom to live in peace in accord with God’s will.
  A man met a monk as he passed a monastery. He asked him, “How often should I forgive my neighbor for slapping me?” The monk queried: “How many times did your neighbor slap you?” The man answered, “Once.” “Then,” said the monk, “forgive him once.” The man then asked, “If he slapped me fifty times, how often should I forgive him?” The monk answered, “You should forgive him forty nine times.” The man said, “But he slapped me fifty times, why shouldn’t I forgive fifty times?” The monk said, “The reason is that you deserved the 50th slap for allowing yourself to be slapped 49 times.” God doesn’t want us to remain in situations where we're being attacked.
  Jesus reinforces God’s revelation through Sirach and emphasizes the reciprocity of forgiveness in the parable of the unjust steward (Mt 18:21-35). The steward begged his master to cancel his debt while he refused to cancel the debt of one who owed him. Upon hearing about this unforgiving steward whom he had previously forgiven, he ordered that he be handed over to “the torturers until he should pay back the whole debt.” Led by his angry feeling toward his debtor the steward lost everything. Jesus warned His listeners, “So my heavenly Father will do to you, unless each of you forgives your brother from your heart.” 
  St Paul reminds us that we don’t live for ourselves, rather we live for the Lord (Rom 14:7-9). In living for Christ we embrace His Beatitudes in which He blesses our emotions so we can direct our feelings in every situation toward him. The Christian life calls us to fully possess ourselves so that we can freely give ourselves to Christ. Thus we use our emotions to direct our feelings toward behavior that is sanctified by the Holy Spirit in the bosom of Jesus’ Church. That’s what makes Christians different from others. There we learn to forgive so we can live and let live using our emotions to direct our feelings toward free, just, loving, and peaceful behavior. (Fr Sean)


If any like it I can  post others as they come in.

What about family abuse and being abused as a child by your parent. How can the example of the monk be applied to that situation? Children aren't capable of removing themselves from abusive situations or defending themselves. So how do you approach forgiveness when you were mistreated as a child?

Please keep posting. 

Adults who were abused as children have a responsibility to protect other children. For example, if the predator could possibly have any access to children, the abuse must be reported to the authorities in order to protect present or future child victims of sɛҳuąƖ assault. This is an act of Charity, not only toward other potential victims, but also to the predator who may not repent until he or she is held accountable.

In regard to forgiveness, a traditional priest once said "Just because you forgive someone, that doesn't mean you have to have lunch with them." In terms of an unrepentant sinner, the act of forgiveness is between you and God. You are not required to socialize with an unrepentant perpetrator who abused you, nor are you required to be around the "silent perpetrators" that is, other persons who ignored or facilitated the abuse and are unrepentant.