Finally, we're moving the discussion forward a bit here.
First, can you provide the exact references please?
I presume you took the time to read St. Alphonsus also.
In any case, the moral theology books do not specify adultery. Any serious sin is necessary. Limiting it to adultery seems rather arbitrary. May women give grave scandal by persistently contradicting their husbands in front of the children and even in front of other families. Dominating the marriage (usurping his authority - a mortal sin) is a frequent one too.
As traditional Catholic who need to be counter cultural, we need to push against this all the more. Husbands who want their families to be like this, have a right to mould them in this way.

St. Alphonsus leaves the door open for chastisement on any serious sin.

If we take the quote give above it implies that St. Thomas says just adultery. However when you balance against the other quote it is not. But remember St. Thomas Aquinas fluctuates Immaculate conception, so it is not surprising if he seems contradictory here.

Jayne, you are a woman and should not be talking about theology anyway. It is better if you leave this discussion to the men on the forum. Your mind is not able to process properly. I say so with kindness not bitterness or hatred towards the female sex.

What if your wife is a masochist and enjoys the disciplines?

No it is something I meant to say a lot earlier.
Wives should not be allowed to chitter chatter on the internet. Especially not publicly. Perhaps on a private forum with other women, and with the surveillance of her husband. But then that begs the question of why her husband is allowing her unrestricted internet access.
It's not to attack their intelligence, but rather their capacity to reflect in a dispassionate way. They are not men's equal, as St. Thomas points out.
Do you have english translations for those St. Alphonsus books you linked to?
I mean you hardly translated all that yourself did you?

Your views lack nuance. From Prummer’s Moral Theology
"There are certain duties which are mutual and others which are peculiar to husband or wife.
1. a) The following obligations are mutual : i) mutual love both affective and effective ; ii) the rendering of the marriage debt ; iii) life in common (mutual companionship).
2. b) The husband is obliged i) as head of the family to guide his wife, children and servants ; ii) to provide for his wife and family sufficient food, clothing and maintenance ; iii) to administer family property wisely.
3. c) The wife is obliged : 1) to show due obedience to her husband ; ii) to pay careful attention to the home and to the education of her children.
4. Scholium. The emancipation of women. Although this question does not fall within the province of the virtue of piety, however since it affects relationships between husband and wife it may be useful to mention
1 The Code of Canon law (c. 1113) has this to say on the question : “ Parents are bound by a most serious obligation to provide for the religious and moral as well as the physical and civil education of their children and to care for their temporal welfare.”

a few points which moral theologians ought to keep in mind regarding this question which is agitating the minds of men and States to-day.

1. So far as their souls, supernatural grace, and destiny are concerned, men and women are equal.
2. Although in general woman is weaker than man in her physical and intellectual powers, nevertheless there are many women who can do exactly the same work as men. Therefore there is nothing in the work itself to prevent such works and duties being given to capable women, such as the office of doctor, teacher, etc.
3. God created woman as man’s helper and formed her from Adam’s rib ; furthermore He has excluded her from the priesthood. All this would seem to indicate clearly that it was never God’s intention for complete equality to exist between man and woman. Therefore the radical emancipation of women and their complete equality with men seem to be alien to the Creator’s intention.
4. A woman’s chief duty is care for the home and therefore any form of emancipation which disrupts family life must be rejected.
5. So far as Catholicism is concerned, there is nothing to prevent (at least in itself) capable women from possessing the right to vote even in political matters. But it is an entirely different question whether any useful purpose is served either in respect of the State or Church by granting women the right to vote in any particular district"